Frequently Asked Questions...

We've been getting a lot of the same questions, and while I love to answer them, I know there are probably people wondering and not asking, so here are the answers to a few of the questions that have been coming up...

Why South Korea?
We went a little backwards when we started making decisions about this adoption.  We didn't actually know where we wanted to adopt from, (originally we actually thought we'd end up in Russia, but that program isn't an option right now because of political issues) but we did know which agency we wanted to go with.  Buckner International and Dillon International partnered a couple of years ago and basically each took over what they each did well.  When we decided to get moving with our adoption, we talked with the Director of International Adoptions at Dillon and basically asked where we needed to go.  Based on the ages of our boys, she said either Korea or China would be a good fit for our family because any child that's placed with us will need to be a year younger than D and these countries are giving the youngest referrals.  Because we won't be eligible for China for a couple more years because of T and A's ages, here we are. :-)  We looked at a couple of other agencies just to be sure, and actually could have had more options of countries, but we just never really at peace with any of the other agencies like we are with Dillon.  There isn't anything wrong with those agencies, but somehow we were more called to the agency than the country.  Now I realize there are only a couple of agencies in the US that do Korean adoptions and this is obviously where God has us, so the pieces fit.

"Are you getting a boy or a girl?"
Yes, we already have 2 boys and yes, usually when you adopt you get to give a preference between boys and girls, but in God's humorous plan, we're going to a country where we'll have about an 80% chance of getting a boy.  We've said that we'd love either boy or girl, but most likely we'll bring home a boy. More snakes and snails and puppy dogs tails are on the horizon for us, but of course we'd be ecstatic to get a girl, too.  We'll just have to wait and see.

"So when do you think you'll actually have them home?"
As of the time frame we have right now, it'll be about 2 years from now, but anything could change at any time to make that longer or shorter.  That's what we're planning on in our minds right now, though.

That's about where we're at right now. Still just waiting and getting a couple more documents in that our agency requested this week.  Thank you for your prayers.

The Start of Something New...

Friends and Family...
We're so excited and so humbled to announce that we have officially turned in our application to adopt a child from South Korea.  Because this process will have its ups and downs and sprints and waits, we wanted to have a place for all of you to be able to stay up-to-date on where we are and what to expect.  

Many of you are probably wondering why we are attempting to blog again when we've been so inconsistent in the past.  Reading blogs has been a big part of us getting familiar with adoption and giving us information in real time about an always changing process, so we want to be able to pass that along to others.  This is also a good way to document our journey so when our child comes home, we'll have it to show them.  Let's be realistic, P had an elaborate baby book, ultrasounds glued in, letters written to him before he was born, etc. D has an almost empty baby book, a couple of things dropped in the box and I think I filled in his birth date, height and weight when he was about 6 months old. Number 3's only hope of having things documented is this so there is some level of accountability in keeping it updated.

So here's where we're at and what to expect.  (I'll come back in a later blog and give more background of how we got here, but I want to keep this from getting too long all at once.)  Keep in mind, though, that there's no way to predict an exact timeline, this is all an estimation based on what things look like right now.  Any number of things could change that at any time.

May 2013- T turns 25... officially making us eligible to adopt internationally. 

End of June 2013- Begin communicating with Dillon International about which country might be a good fit for our family.  They sent us to the Korea program.

Beginning of July 2013- After a lot of prayer and looking at a couple of agencies and countries, felt at peace with our decision and turned in our Application #1, (fairly simple initial application- only a few pages) to Dillon. 

Middle of July 2013- Starting our Application #2.  This is the big one. In the end it was about a ream of paper total answering and documenting about everything that it could ask or need documentation of from birth certificates to employments verification to 10 pages of questions and paragraph long answers from both T and A to physicals and references. 

September 18, 2013- Application #2 done and in the mail! Wahoo!

So what's next?  This is where we get to practice our waiting.  The agency has about 30 days to process our application and get back with us.  We don't know exactly what that means except that there isn't anything else we can do right now until they tell us.  We may need to clarify things on our application. We may need to resubmit some of the paperwork if it wasn't what they needed, etc.  Once our application is processed, we'll have a home study done.  This will basically mean that a case worker who we're assigned to will come and learn everything she can about us and write a report on it. (Pretty scary, right?)  That process will be another 2-3 month total.  Then more waiting.

This is when it will get fun and hard and exciting and scary all at once.  Next Spring or Summer (2014) is when we expect we'll get what's called a referral.  This means that our agency and the agency that our child is coming from will match us with a child.  This child will need to be at least a year younger than D, so as of today they haven't even been born, but anytime after Wednesday is fair game as D will be a year old tomorrow.  When we receive that referral our child will probably be about 6-8 months old.  We'll have pictures, medical history, family history, etc. at that time.  We will be given the option to accept that referral or decline it based on the medical history and will meet with our pediatrician and anyone with any expertise needed to make that decision.  After we accept a referral, our child will stay in the foster home that they will have been in since they were about a week old until we bring them home, (more on that in a different blog). After that, it will be about 18 months before we travel, get a court day, meet them, or bring them home. This means that it will be about 2 years from now and our child will be about 2 years old.  Again, this is all an estimation, but should be fairly close to accurate.

How can you pray?

• We ask that you pray for us, specifically for patience and that we're in tune to what God wants from us all along the way.  
• We ask that you pray for our agency as they're doing their part.  We believe that God has a specific child picked out for us already, but our agency is the one responsible for making sure that happens, so pray that they're also in tune to God's will for our family. (We picked this agency because that's exactly what their goal is.)
• Most of all, though, and especially at this point, we ask that you pray for our child's birth family.  There is a mother (and possibly a birth father in the picture, too) on the other side of the world right now preparing to deliver a baby, whether it be this week or in the next few months.  For whatever reason, she does not feel she is able to care for that baby in the way that she feels will be best for he or she.  She probably already has an adoption plan ready and will place that baby with the agency before she leaves the hospital.  As a mother, I can't imagine what she is going through and honestly wish there were a way to change her circumstances so she doesn't have to make that choice.  By the grace of God and through his provision with adoption, that baby will be our child, loved and raised exactly the same as our biological children.  However, that birth family will always be a part of them.  Pray that God will give her a peace that surpasses all understanding in her decision.  Pray for us that we can prepare ourselves to be the kind of parents that she is choosing for her child. We are no where near perfect people and by no means perfect parents, but pray that we will be somewhat worthy of the blessing that she will be giving us.

Again, I'll be following up and elaborating on some of this, but I really just wanted to get the ball rolling on this blog and to catch anyone who is interested up on what's going on.  Feel free to ask questions when you see us, just understand that for the most part, we won't know much in the way of exactly what to expect next, but we're willing to share what we know. I (A) especially love to talk about all this.  It's been a long time coming and is surreal that we're finally even to this point.  

Thanks for reading this whole thing.  I'll try to keep them shorter from here on.  

***When you get a chance if you're wanting a little more background on the history of Korean Adoption and why it's still so important even though the country seems to be doing well, click here.  This is a radio program from Family Life all about the Korean Adoption situation, especially relating to Christians in .  I couldn't have put together a better summary.  It's about 25 minutes so you can download it and listen when you're driving or at work. (I really only expect those of you that are really close to us to listen since it's so long, but I want anyone to have the option.)

We went to eat Korean food at a place another Korean adoptive family recommended in our area.  We didn't want to seem "touristy" so we didn't take a picture of the food, but they had a neat water fountain in the front that the boys loved.